We have been talking about boutonnieres so much over the last few weeks that we thought we would finish off this unintentional bout series with a little post on the etiquette behind who should wear and who shouldn’t wear a bout, because it seems many brides and their planning counterparts do not know where to start the bouts or cut them off!
As a general rule use your bridal party as your guideline, if a male exists in fashion associated with your bridal party, it is very likely that proper etiquette would dictate that they also receive a boutonniere. There are exceptions to the rule but this is a great place to start. This likely will include but will not be limited to the best man, groomsman, Jr. groomsman, fathers, ring bearer, brothers, and of course the groom.
Many brides desire a more simple bridal party floral ensemble usually to accommodate a very intimate wedding and in some cases this requires a bout for only the groom and fathers, others have a huge bridal party that includes nearly anyone and everyone relatively close to the couple. Of course there is the norm, which likely falls somewhere in-between. A few other rules to help you conclude who should be wearing a bout: Anyone walking down the aisle, standing in a receiving line, or included in the majority of photos to be taken of the bridal party.
The above example may be considered faux pas and may be a reason to consider not purchasing boutonnieres for your bridal party. Perhaps your big day is a back yard soiree with a summer time mood and you want to ensure the comfort of everyone in your bridal party, Utah can get hot as we all know. So bridal party attire may not include a jacket, vest, or formal attire but something more casual and comfortable. In this case, very seriously consider if a boutonniere is appropriate and or necessary! Bouts pinned to a shirt often times are uncomfortable to wear and do not look appropriate either so they may very well not be necessary, save yourself the funds, and the gents the pain, and allocate the energy into socks or otherwise!
A few gentleman to consider that may not be considered part of your bridal party but should be considered when ordering bouts would be any grandfathers and your officiant. These two important categories of gents often get overlooked. Grandfathers typically are not required to wear bridal party attire but almost always wear a suit to any wedding they attend. They also come from a generation that believes in tradition and etiquette and likely deserve to be honored for their age, wisdom, and family contribution. Officiants also often get overlooked when ordering bouts. If your officiant is a male coming in a traditional suit or mens formal fashion you may want to consider the kind gesture of adding a bout onto his ensemble out of respect and appreciation.
There is of course a gray area when it comes to blended family and this can get really sticky as well, but consider spending a few bucks to avoid any drama or issues that may occur out of a prideful emotion, and if it cannot be overcome then be prepared for any potential fall out.
Last but not least a little word about the youngest gents attending your big day! If you have a ring bearer or other young lads in your bridal party plan on a boutonniere! We here at UBB are big fans of little blooms on little men, but please lower your expectations when you consider the longevity of wear and condition of said bloom as the ceremonies progress! Put the bout on the little lad just before his walk down the aisle or pictures and be happy with that knowing that he may not keep it on, he may eat it or destroy it in some manner but it will be cute while it lasted!
Image credits: Wedding Illustrated . JLM Couture . The Knot . Four Diaries . Once Wed