Photography: Lindsey Shaun
I have been wanting to infuse into UBB a look into real couples, real marriages, real experiences! Thus why we have a new reality couple here on UBB and are attending so many weddings as of late + sharing advice and thoughts from all you brides + grooms out there!
In thinking about this idea of content development I have also thought that maybe advice from married couples with a few years under their belt would prove useful to our readers. Tomorrow is my own anniversary, and let’s just say I have been married for a while now. As I began to contemplate what I would share about our love on personal platforms I began to realize that I should not exclude myself from the generated idea of sharing advice about marriage with our readers here on UBB! So in honor of my own anniversary I am sharing with you my most recent idea on how to make my own marriage better, maybe it will help you make yours better too!
You know the old adage “it’s what you make of it”? I find this adage to be so incredibly true about any relationship, but especially marriage. Hopefully your relationship with your spouse is the most important one to you, and if it is not make it that now! The advice to make each other top priority is a staple one that is often not headed seriously enough, especially as years compile! This top priority relationship is now and will be in the future exactly what you make of it!
So what goes into what you make of it? I think attitude, time + attention, and love language are all good ones for the list but lately I have found myself really focused on perspective! It is so easy to get lost in your own perspective + experience and then to subconsciously assume your picture is the whole truth or the whole picture, but we all experience things so differently and we are all so incredibly different that your one narrowed perception cannot actually be the whole picture and letting your subconscious take hostage with this idea can narrow you into perceiving your spouse or a situation unfairly.
I have had the opportunity over the last year to do a lot of personal work and to really get gritty with myself as well as take a hard look at multiple close relationships in my life and what I found was that not only are all the perspectives so different but the inability to change perspective or try and see someone or some experience from an alternate angle really inhibited the relationship it pertained to, including in marriage.
When I am able to see my lover differently than I am naturally a keen to do, see him in different lights and at different angles I am then able to see better how he might see a situation, how I see him, how I treat him, how I see how he sees me, and how I deal with conflict and this all contributes to what I make of our marriage. When I gain a wider more vast perspective it has always done me good and made our marriage better.
So that is what I have for you …… when it stops working or when you determine you want it all to work better … change your perspective, get out of how you naturally see things and do some work to see your marriage and your spouse differently!